Archive for December, 2007


Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

December 18, 2007

Two weekends ago I found myself at Paul and Kelli’s annual Christmas party, or by it’s official name the Larsarelli Non Denominational Large-Tree Decorating Party. For the past three years, I have helped pick up an insanely large tree with P & K and then the following weekend they have everyone over to help decorate it. It’s actually quite ingenious. Their whole tree is decorated in twenty minutes.

The evening always has some holiday cocktails which always lead to a few broken ornaments. The record in one night is four broken ornaments set by our friend Andre.

Ever since Paul has been in grad school, he has been vetting different business school classmates for douchebaggery. Some of Paul’s business school classmates I have never seen again after a first encounter. Which is fine by me. But others made the cut. And those new friends were invited to this holiday party. And some of those new friends were single females. New opportunity.

After their 12 foot tree was draped with ebay purchased ornaments the party really got going. And I started to talk to this girl from the business school. She is a couple of years older then me and from southern California. We got to chatting about my famous guacamole – which she only gave a 7 out of 10 rating and that led to other points of conversation. I was my typical outgoing self at three drinks and things were going good. I remember rambling about my job, net present value of future incomes, statistics, and other areas of conversation that bore the typical girl on a Saturday night but would interest a future mba student. My inappropriate insights to graduate school were well received and all of a sudden I realized that I spent most of the night talking to Maryann.

She left around 1:00 a.m. and I had a good feeling that I would see her again.

The following week Paul ran into Maryann in the hallway at school. She said that she had a wonderful time at the party and she loved Kelli. Then they had the following conversation:

M: And your friend Nick! He is crazy! I mean he is crazy and outgoing and really flamboyant! Is he gay or straight!?
P: Ha! He is very very straight and very single.
M: Wow, he is so funny and outgoing.

Paul relayed the conversation to me. He thought that I would react negatively to the notion of Maryann thinking I was a raging homosexual. But I found it extremely positive. It was like in the movie Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd’s crush tells him that his chances with her were one in one million. And he replies – So you’re telling me there is a chance. I felt the exact same way. I thought it was positive that Maryann brought me up without Paul prodding – she was thinking about me at least.

P & K thought I should ask her out and that I should just email her. And I did. I wrote a funny self deprecating message to her and I waited for a response. Maryann wrote me the next day. She said that she was flattered by my email message and that she totally would go out with me but that she didn’t think her boyfriend would be too happy with it. That’s right – the dreaded “B” word. Paul saw her a few days later and she told him that I had asked her out. And she told him that she was really flattered and that she would go out with me if she wasn’t dating him. Oh well.

The next weekend I left to visit Justin in Boise. And Justin, a few of his coworkers and I go dancing at a club in downtown Boise. If Boise had a gay bar this would be it. Hip Hop and 80s music blared on that cold and snowy night and we drank vodka crans while dancing the night away. I had been dancing with this girl and I sort of lost track of her. And I felt someone dancing and grinding me from behind. I thought it was her. But it was a dude who was dancing with me. And without panic a just danced off the stage and ran to Justin to tell him what had happened. I couldn’t believe that I guy was dancing with me – not that there’s anything wrong with that.


Boyfriend Confusion

December 2, 2007

It was 6:30 p.m. and I was starving tonight. Having nothing to eat at my place, I braved the incoming storm and ran to Safeway to pick up things for dinner. I grabbed bread and peanut butter and placed them into my basket before heading into the meat department. I needed to choose between beef or chicken for the stir-fry I was going to make.

As I stood there comparing prices this girl walks up to me, puts a bag of bagels into my basket and says, “Oh you are getting bread?” I look up at her and I say, “I think you have the wrong basket.” She looks up at me and turns completely red as she realizes that I am not her man but a complete stranger. She quickly grabs her bagels and runs over to her boyfriend. I see him standing across the meat department laughing his ass off as he realizes that his girlfriend walked up to the wrong person.

It turns out that her boyfriend and I look quite similar – we were both asian, about the same height, and were wearing a black fleece. I saw them later in the dairy department and I flash them a smile. She just shakes her head in embarrassment.