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Untitled – April 6, 2006

April 6, 2006

I had lunch with a friend yesterday and she asked me which airlines I was using to fly to Denver. I said Alaska. She wrinkled her nose, made a face and asked me why I was flying with them, with all of their recent problems. I responded by saying they make many flights everyday and I have faith everything will be okay. You already know where this is going don’t you.

I sat in the terminal soaking up the beautiful Seattle sunshine. I could see the Olympics in the distance. I was having a great birthday. The Starbucks line was longer than security. And everything seemed to move smoothly. I even had a few minutes to browse some magazines. I boarded the plane and I was seated next to a fairly attractive girl. Everyone was seated. And the minutes passed. The pilot soon got on the intercom and said the ground crew needed to replace a headlight and we would be leaving in a few minutes. Fifteen minutes pass. The pilot comes on the intercom again and says that the ground crew found dents in the cargo door and that they needed to have the engineering crew measure the distance of the dents to see if they can fly the plane. He said this process would take 45-60 minutes. They gave us the option to stay on board or leave the plane. The girl next to me left and I decided to stay here and report on the goings on

As I mentioned before, today is my birthday. I always think about my birthmother on my birthday. Wondering if she is still around and whether she thinks about me on my birthday. I was over at Paul, Kelli’s the other night, and I had a few too many drinks. One glass of wine lead to another and before I knew it, I was tipsy. We started to talk about career choices and the factors we evaluate before having a family. I have often struggled with what I want to do with the rest of my life. I think about how privileged I am because I came to America. Through all the wine of that evening, I had a moment of clarity. I said that I have guilt to work in a profession that betters society because my birthmother left me at the doctor’s office in Korea because she wanted me to have a better life. I said that my educational path at the Evans School and my desired career in non-profit management is my silent tribute to her. I thought about that statement again when I was sober and I still feel that way. I always had guilt about how good my life is because I am an American. I knew that I would never have braces in the fifth grade or back surgery in high school if I were still in Korea with my birthmother. Well I will raise a glass in honor of her tonight – it is the least I can do.

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